Julia Fox Garrison

2012-01-01T16:03:00.000-08:00

EXERCISE THE f-WORDS IN 2012

Here I am ringing in the New Year with all the hope and promise of a new beginning. I can put all the ‘should haves’ and ‘could haves’ behind me with 2011 and focus on the here, now and future with unbridled energy. I’m surprised I have energy left over from 2011, but the new year brings with it a clean slate. It is a ‘do-over’ for 2012. I’m reflecting on what I need to do to make this a pivotal year. My first thought is the obvious—lose weight and improve my health in the process, but that’s superficial compared to what really matters. I start my day thinking, ‘I’ll try, ’but as the wise Yoda says, ‘Don’t try. Do.’ So, out with ‘trying,’ in with ‘doing.’

Here’s to the f-words in 2012!

FAITH: Exercise my faith to bring me comfort and to assist me with tasks I feel I cannot accomplish on my own. Feed my soul with healthy, positive thoughts and help me tap into what my soul is saying.

FAMILY: Exercise my love and appreciation for the wonderful family I have been blessed with, and they are truly a blessing, because I didn’t get to pick them. And for my husband who, I always say, was heaven sent. And for my son who inspires me to do more than I think I can. With them behind me, I am always moving forward.

FRIENDS: Exercise my friendships. Embrace and cherish the friends who have opened their hearts to me. They are my safety net and my compass. They accept me for who I am, with all my foibles. To all my friends, old and new, I will give back more than I take.

FORGIVENESS: Exercise forgiveness. Recognize that I get more in return from the act of forgiving than the party I forgive. The adage ‘Hatred does more damage to the vessel it is contained in, than to the vessel it is directed at’ rings true.

FOCUS: Exercise focus on my true purpose here on earth. Be grateful for the opportunity to impact others lives. Spread the message of hope to inspire others to overcome their physical or emotional challenges.

FUNNY BONE: Exercise humor. Make every effort to enjoy a good belly laugh daily, even at my own expense. Being fodder for a good-natured laugh is preferable to laughing at others. Laughing releases those endorphins every bit as much as that ‘runner’s high’ from physical exertion.

FORTITUDE: Exercise fortitude to overcome hardship. Don’t be a naysayer when faced with difficulties. ‘Those that say it cannot be done, should not interrupt the one doing it.’

If I follow through on these goals, I will improve my well-being in 2012 and beyond. I might even lose some weight in the process.
With Love,
Julia Fox Garrison

2011-11-07T15:28:00.000-08:00

Invite me to Your Book Club--I Make Virtual Visits to Book Clubs!

I love connecting with my readers, even if I can't do so in person. If your book club makes Don't Leave Me This Way (or when I get back on my feet you'll be sorry) its selection, I'd be happy to join the discussion. And I promise, it will be a lively and irreverent one. You can ask me anything; I'm an open book. To invite me to attend your book club via Skype or phone, e-mail me at: pinheadpress@comcast.net

Check out these links for Q&A samplers. This one with my publisher, HarperCollinsPublishers And this one with the ADVANCE Book Club for Nurses

I look forward to joining your book club, if only for an evening. I always enjoy the interaction and the new friends I make!

2011-11-04T16:18:00.000-07:00

I was interviewed by Harriet Cabelly, a life coach, for her November interview blog. Prior to becoming a life coach four years ago, Harriet was a social worker for 20 years in the NY school system and in private practice. The focus of her blog is people overcoming difficulties and how they grow through adversity. I had the good fortune of having her reached out to me for an interview. I think she captured my outlook perfectly. Please take a moment to visit and share her website which is chock-full of tips on improving your life. Look at it as your daily dose of inspiration!
http://rebuildyourlifecoach.wordpress.com/2011/11/01/interview-with-julia-fox-garrison/

2010-04-14T12:09:00.000-07:00

Julia's HUGS Method (Humor Ultimately Gives Strength)--HUGS to you!

I am a hugger. I hug everyone. Without exception. A mauling, Jim aptly calls it. When someone extends a hand, I brush past it and go in for the embrace. Usually, people are surprised but grateful for the gesture. I believe a hug removes barriers and creates an aura of warmth.

I’ve been warned about hugging certain people who may find it inappropriate or who might not be receptive. Once, while doing a presentation at a hospital’s annual executive meeting. I was cautioned about hugging the CEO. He just isn’t the hugger type, I was told. Why, I thought, would I change who I am because of another’s insecurities?

Recently, my husband and I went out to dinner at a new trendy restaurant located in an office park. Trolling for a parking space (the place was mobbed), we noticed a car parked in a handicapped space without a placard; a woman stood at the driver side door talking to a person within.

“Excuse me, do you have a handicap placard?” Jim asked politely. Expecting to hear, “Yes, thanks for asking. I’ll post it,” we were greeted instead with a stream of obscenities.

“You f#*&ING B@#$TARD. Mind your own f*#@ing business.” The fusillade continued as the woman assisted her husband into the restaurant. The effect was jarring
“Wow, Jim, I think she may start a riot in the restaurant. Hope they’re seated by the time we get in there,” I said. But of course there they were, standing just inside the door as we entered and walked past them to the hostess desk.

As I was checking on our reservation, Jim approached the woman and said, “Hey, I didn’t mean to offend you. I am sorry you took it that way. We are on the same side of the issue.” She responded with the same venomous verbal assault we were subjected to outside, with no regard for those within earshot.

“You f#$*ing a@#$hole. How dare you question me? I’ve been dealing with people like you for 35 years. I am sick of this f*&(ing sh#t every time I go out.” I approached as she continued to spew, noticing that her husband stood away, facing the wall, obviously embarrassed by, but used to, his wife’s outburst. I felt bad for him.

“I am sorry that you are so angry with us, but surely you have had experiences where people abuse handicap parking. I find that people tend to treat it as a 10-minute-only waiting area. If you had posted your placard, we wouldn’t have had occasion to ask.” The woman couldn’t hear what I was saying because of her relentless ranting.

Without really thinking, I got very close to her and said, “You need a hug.” I enveloped her in my arms and gave her a signature mauling. Her whole body bristled and stiffened. I whispered in her ear, “I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. I have been through some hard times too. I understand. Although you are angry and hurt by what life has dealt you, there are good things in life too. It is a choice whether you make an effort to see and experience them.”

With that, we were called for our table. As I released my bear hug, her rigid body softened, and she sheepishly said, “Have a nice dinner.” I replied, “You too, enjoy your evening.”

As we were being seated, Jim said, “I thought for sure she was going to repel your hug with a slug. I can’t believe you did that.”

“Me either. I didn’t give it any thought. It was just automatic; I certainly didn’t know how she would respond. Sure glad it turned out OK.”

Joining us shortly thereafter, our dining companions recounted their conversation as they approached the restaurant. My girlfriend said to her husband. “Do you think Jim and Julia are here yet?” Her husband replied, “If you see a commotion, you’ll know they’re here.”
HUGS,
-xo-julia

2008-11-07T07:20:00.000-08:00

Do you have a personal anthem?

Music is a good source of healing. I discovered a song post stroke that I use to aid my recovery efforts. Christine Aguilera’s song called Fighter is be fitting of my stroke hurdles. Although the song is written about a personal relationship, it suits the union I have with my stroke. Aside from becoming a mother, there is not one single event that has changed me so significantly.

It made me reassess and redefine who I am. I had to say Good bye to the corporate working mother and recreate a new path, but it is now a path more fulfilling because I am positively sure of my purpose here on earth—to help others find their way through difficult times--to show that using heavy doses of humor and keeping a positive attitude will help one prevail.

It’s a good pump up song for a better workout at the gym too!

“After all you put me through you’d think I'd despise you but in the end
I want to thank you 'cause you made that much stronger…
So I wanna say thank you, cause it...

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter…” Christine Aguilera

I have other anthems as well, such as; Al Greene’s Let’s Stay Together sums up my relationship and marriage to Jim:

“..Let's, let's stay together Lovin' you whether, whether Times are good or bad Happy or sad Good or bad, happy or sad…”

Additionally, through those thick and thin times since our marriage vows, I would add: ‘Lovin you whether, whether slim and trim or chubby and heavy, whether size six or sixteen, whether cheery or bitchy’.

And when I let out a loud belch, in the privacy of my home of course, I break into “She’s a Lady” by Tom Jones!

I suppose when I actually get my hemiplegic body on those roller blades, I’ll be adding a new anthem to my repertoire: ‘Let the Good Times Roll’!

2008-11-06T16:19:00.000-08:00

Listen and participate in the ADVANCE Book Club for Nurses

ADVANCE for Nurses publication selected Don't Leave Me This Way
for the inaugural book to launch their online book club. I'm remiss in posting
as it was back in July, but for those of you who would like to hear the
podcast of my interview with the editor and follow-up discussion, the link is
below.

http://nursing.advanceweb.com/article/calling-all-bibliophiles.aspx?CP=3

2007-03-28T05:06:00.000-07:00

Plateau or Summit?

When I was in rehabilitation, “plateau” became a dirty word to me. I know that others undergoing rehabilitation share this sentiment. The word is code for “you’re not going to get any better” or “don’t expect to see any more improvement.” All you do is strive to get back to normal; all they tell you is be happy with what you’ve achieved. The conspiratorial wheels start to spin when the insurance company terminates your therapies because you’ve “plateaued.”

This July marks the tenth anniversary of my stroke and thus the tenth opportunity to pay “homage to my hemorrhage,” as I like to call it. Ten years out, yet my symptoms persist: hemiparesis, left-side neglect, neuropathy, proprioception problems, spasticity. Yes, to experience the condition is to know the term to describe it, though I can think of better ways to expand my vocabulary. So, sure, I still have a lot of deficits, but do I think I’ve plateaued? No way. I’m going roller blade and I’m going to run again. In a recent radio interview, I was asked, “Are you 100 percent now?” I answered, “Are you? I’ll be 100 percent when I get to heaven.”

In my ongoing recovery, I picture myself as any professional - an athlete, an actor, a musician - who strives to achieve by practice, hard work, and determination. Like a tennis player working on her backhand, I am constantly working on my gait or on trying to control my spastic left arm. So it really raises the hair on my neck when I hear a patient described as having plateaued. I was speaking to a brain injury group the other day, where a woman told of her husband who, eight weeks after suffering an aneurysm, was described as having plateaued. Eight weeks. That hardly seems like enough time to come back from the trauma to the brain, let alone to show any signs of what degree of recovery might be expected. How can they be so quick to quit on a person?

The word “plateaued” should be expunged from the medical lexicon. I’m not advocating false hope, just to keep hope alive. Never underestimate the human spirit and the will to get better.

2006-11-09T11:12:00.000-08:00

I'm often asked why did I write Don't Leave Me This Way?
I had alot to say! I didn't write it for cathartic reasons,
because I was determined to not let the stroke define me.
Although my anecdotes are unique to me (and there are
some laugh-out-loud ones), my patient care seems to be a
common thread with readers that have been through the
system. My goal is to help patients help themselves and
to improve the doctor/patient relationship. I can see I'm
already making a difference, although it is a s-l-o-w process--
just like stroke recovery.

Is Don't Leave Me This Way for the general reading masses? Yes.
It is for any one that has had to face something hard--whether it
is physical or emotional. It is about going through identity
changes: being a wife and a mother--marriage and parenting.
While it details my true comeback story from a devastating
hemorrhagic stroke, it encompasses every facet of life when
given lemons and how to make the grandest lemonade one
could imagine!

2006-09-11T18:08:00.000-07:00

9/11 - Eyes looking forward with optimism, glancing back with sadness

My recovery has always been about looking ahead. I do, however,
look back occasionally to chart my progress since I was struck by
stroke. September 11 is a time of reflection and sadness for our
country. As when any horrific tragedy happens, we can all recall
where and what we were doing at the time. I was leaving my
neurology appointment when the first plane hit the towers,
having just learned what had caused my stroke four years earlier
that left me paralyzed. I had never had a conclusive diagnosis until
9/11/2001-- the day my country was paralyzed.

I can go right back to July 17, 1997, the day of my ‘incident’ and
remember every detail—what I was doing, who I was with, what
I felt like. It’s the same with today, 9/11: I can replay it like a
movie. But I, like my country, am a survivor, so I choose to
look forward. Like me, my country has come a long way
from those first paralyzing days.
We are a resilient people; we are all survivors.
Peace.

2006-07-17T16:57:00.000-07:00

Today is my 9th ‘Homage to my Hemorrhage’ Anniversary
Pop the champagne! I don’t need much to find cause for
celebration, but this date marked a detour in the course of my
life, and has in many ways, become more celebratory than my
actual birthday--October 17.

On July 17, 1997, my co-worker, Caryn, drove me to the hospital.
I didn’t know it at the time, but every time my blood pulsed it was
releasing blood in my brain. I knew I was dying and told Caryn so.
I was also calmly giving directions how to get to the hospital.
“Turn Left. I’m dying. Turn Right. Call everyone in my
family, I’m not going to make it.” I don’t see Caryn often now.
In fact it is sometimes years. But every July 17, 1997, for nine
years now, I receive flowers delivered on my doorstep from Caryn.
I guess the real-life drama impacted her life as well.

Many folks ask why I would celebrate a date that I should dread
when it represents so much distress, pain, and a disabled body?
It does have all those elements, but it also shows how far I have
come from a day (and for months thereafter) when I thought I was
going to die. Celebrating allows me to take the upper hand over my
stroke (albeit the right hand only—my left hand is still good only for
decorating). This is a day for reflecting or and rejoicing over the gift
of nine more years of life—to be a mother, wife, sister and
daughter. I don’t like how the stroke has left my body, but I do
cherish the gift of knowing my purpose here on earth—to show
others facing difficult times that you can survive by reaching deep and
using the tools God gave each of us—it’s not what happens to us—it’s
how we react to it.

2006-07-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence Day! (literally)

For those of us who have survived a devastating, life-altering challenge,
it has a much more personal meaning. I’m truly thankful that I live in a
country that celebrates our freedom. And, I’m equally thankful that I
have regained my independence in being able to do those every day
activities we all take for granted—eat, bathe, dress, go to the bathroom,
or walk on my own. I celebrate the country’s freedom, but also my personal
independence to continue my life, albeit altered, but Free! Happy 4^th!

With Love, Julia

2006-07-03T08:58:00.000-07:00

I met a legend and a stroke survivor—Kirk Douglas!
While in NYC filming for my GMA appearance, I was having dinner
with ‘my people’ (editor, publicist, and agent)—I can’t say it
without giggling—when lo and behold who walks in to the restaurant,
but Kirk Douglas. I’m one to always see signs in everything, and to
me, Kirk Douglas was the most meaningful person I could have
encountered. I don’t believe in coincidence—I believe coincidence
is in the Plan. When I originally took pen to paper for Don’t Leave Me
This Way my working title was A Stroke of Luck. Kirk Douglas beat
me to the bookstores with, My Stroke of Luck.

Of course, I couldn’t let this wonderful opportunity slip by.
I dutifully waited until he was finished with his meal to introduce
myself. I limped over to his table, introduced myself, and, while
holding his hand, then said:

“You and I joined a club that we never asked to be members of—
stroke survivors club—but I believe that we make pretty damn good
members. I am in awe that you have been such an eloquent spokesman
(yes, eloquent although his speech is impaired), because you have
proved that you are a true gladiator in life’s challenges. I hope
to pick up the torch and carry it with you.”

2006-06-09T10:48:00.000-07:00

Welcome readers,
This has been some journey for me. I never proclaimed,
"I'm going to write a book someday." It just wasn't part
of my DNA. But in the aftermath of my stroke, dealing with
the medical community and insurance companies, and trying
to rehabilitate myself, I sensed I had a story to tell.

It seemed that my experience was a blueprint for how not
to let the system dictate the direction, pace, and objectives
of recovery. I've learned that what your heart, mind, and
intuition tell you can be as valuable as any medical opinion.
My ordeal has also taught me to listen to and rely on my inner
voice, my soul, because it is my link to God and the angels that
watch over me.

We all have a story to tell on this journey through life.
I invite you to share your story here; perhaps it will help
you and others along the way.

This has been some wild ride, but I rather like that wind-blown
look. Many blessings to you on your journey.
with love, julia

2006-06-09T07:55:00.000-07:00